How to Deal with Obstacles and Live Your HSP Life

Do you ever feel like you are facing one challenge after another? Maybe you feel like you are always on edge, waiting for the next problem to arise. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), these constant difficulties can seem overwhelming. The more overstimulated and overwhelmed we become, the harder it is to deal with everyday stressors, not to mention the major crises that come our way.

To live your HSP life, you need to commit to obstacles.

Does that sound strange? Why should we commit to obstacles? Isn’t a HSP life one that feels comfortable and suits us well?

Yes, it can be. But a HSP lifestyle also prepares us for times that are hard. The approach is based on the reality that obstacles are a part of life. When we commit to obstacles, we learn to accept that life is naturally filled with highs and lows. This saves us the unnecessary pain that comes from thinking that life should always be smooth.

Here are some ways that you can commit to obstacles in support of your HSP life.

Accept the Fact that Obstacles are a Reality 

It can be so tempting in our  social-media-saturated world to think that everyone else’s lives are perfect and happy all the time. Or that people who are facing a challenge do so as “heroes” and “fighters,” never giving in to doubts, fears, or hopelessness. Remember that what we see in social media and on the news is a selected version of reality. It’s not the whole story.

Make an effort to stop the sneaking thoughts that other people’s lives are easier than yours. Challenge your belief that life should be simpler than it is. If it helps, reduce your exposure to the kinds of media that create a false sense of reality.

Make a Plan, But Be Flexible 

I love a good plan. Plans are calming to me. I can feel my body relax and my HSP overstimulation fade away once I have figured out how to handle a situation. However, much to my dismay, a good plan is not always enough to avoid obstacles or help us easily solve every issue that arises.

If planning helps you feel more prepared and confident, use it as a tool. Adjust your plan to who you are as a highly sensitive person. For example, if you know that you need time to switch between activities without feeling stressed, make sure that this is part of any plans you create. At the same time, acknowledge when there are things that cannot be planned, and don’t blame yourself. Find other ways to comfort and calm yourself.

Build Your Resources and Supports 

One thing that I’ve noticed in myself and in my work as a therapist for HSPs, creatives, and gifted adults is that too many of us try to do everything by ourselves for too long. I think this is partly because we’ve been told for so long that we are too sensitive or just need to toughen up. It becomes hard to admit to ourselves or others that we need help.

Committing to obstacles means creating the resources and social supports you need to deal with those obstacles. Start to build relationships with people who respect your sensitivity and can be trusted to help you without judgement. Learn skills that could help you in the future, like how to communicate assertively and how to regulate your body and emotions when stress is high. Developing your team and tools will help you cope with whatever happens.

Don’t Let Obstacles Shape Your Life Story 

We get to write the story of our life, day by day. Focusing on life’s problems makes for a good drama, but probably is not a pleasant way to go through your own days. Acknowledge the obstacles you face. Give yourself as much time, energy, and space as you need to feel your emotions and process what the experiences mean to you. Learn what you can.

Then give yourself permission (and a push, if necessary) to zoom out from the challenges you have faced. Notice other aspects of your life: the things that are going well, the ways that you feel grateful and happy, the people and activities that enrich your life. From this perspective, you may find that obstacles are not the main feature of your story.

Looking Ahead as You Commit to Obstacles 

Please know that I realize that some obstacles are bigger than others. They can be life-changing, even life-threatening. You deserve to get professional support for these kinds of obstacles, or any time when you feel like you’ve hit a wall. Getting help to get unstuck is a positive way of committing to obstacles.

Warm wishes,

Tekin Meric, MSc

Counselor & Coach

If you would like to receive counseling or coaching support as you navigate these emotions, please feel free to reach out. I would be honored to hold a space for you online or in my practice in Amsterdam.