Are You Exhausted from Giving and Giving? - An HSP Issue
Do you ever find yourself constantly giving without receiving the acknowledgment and gratitude you deserve? Is it as if you pour your heart and soul into everything you do, only to realize that there's nothing left for yourself?
Many highly sensitive people can relate to this experience. In American culture, there is a strong emphasis on productivity and the expectation to do it all. This pressure can be present in our families and jobs as well. As highly sensitive individuals, we pick up on this societal expectation to never stop, and because we deeply care about others, we push ourselves to keep going even when we're running on empty. At times, it can feel like we're an open buffet, with people constantly taking from us. However, we have a finite amount of energy to give, and when we exceed our limits, exhaustion, resentment, and low self-worth can set in.
Perhaps it's time to close the buffet! We not only need to reserve energy for ourselves, but we also require time and space to replenish our energy reserves. So, what does this mean in practice?
Remember that energy is finite. Regardless of whether we are highly sensitive or not, no person has unlimited energy. Sometimes we may look around and see famous individuals or even people we know who seem to never stop. As a therapist, I can assure you that these individuals either fall on the outer edges of the bell curve (and stand out because they are so unusual) or they are neglecting their own needs, which can lead to physical, emotional, or psychological exhaustion (if not all three). No human being is truly an Energizer Bunny. Instead of criticizing yourself for needing rest, recognize that rest is as vital as food, water, and shelter. Taking downtime actually allows us to continue on our journey.
To begin, we need to check in with ourselves and ask not only, "Do I have the time and energy to do this?" but also, "Do I want to do this?"
It may be difficult to accept, but not wanting to do something is a perfectly valid reason to decline. As highly sensitive people, we often downplay our own wants and needs, believing that our preferences don't matter much. However, I want to emphasize that what YOU want does matter!
Once we've checked in with ourselves, it may be necessary to say "no" to others. While saying "no" can feel intimidating for many of us, there are other options available, such as saying, "That doesn't work with my schedule" or "I'm not able to do that at this time."
We can even respond with a "yes," but with certain parameters, like saying, "Yes, but I can only do it on this day for a limited amount of time."
Equally important to setting boundaries is understanding how we can replenish our energy reserves.
What activities leave you feeling rested and rejuvenated?
What brings you joy and revitalizes you?
These are the things that fill us up and allow us to give from a place of abundance rather than depletion. It's crucial to find a balance between the energy we expend and the energy we reserve for ourselves. Furthermore, we must discover ways to replenish the energy we have used. If you're feeling exhausted and underappreciated, let it be a signal for you to look inward and determine what you need.
Managing our energy and emotional reserves is a universal challenge, and it's especially significant for highly sensitive people. By doing so, we can experience greater happiness, enjoy our lives and relationships more fully, and continue making valuable contributions to our loved ones, communities, and the world in the long run. And let me tell you, the world truly needs us.
If you're seeking support in better managing your energy or exploring themes related to boundaries and relationships, I am here to help.
Warmly,
Tekin Meric, MSc
Counselor & Coach
If you would like to receive counseling or coaching support as you navigate your life issues, please feel free to reach out. I would be honored to hold a space for you online or in my practice in Amsterdam.
