The Importance of 'Play' for Highly Sensitive Adults
Play is a vital component when it comes to managing overstimulation and grounding your emotions, even for highly sensitive people (HSPs) in adulthood. Let's imagine two individuals eagerly awaiting the weekend. One envisions a leisurely brunch with friends, a long walk, and indulging in a favorite TV series. The other has similar plans, but amidst the anticipation, they also worry about completing pending chores, resolving conflicts with coworkers, finding time to rest and recharge, and keeping up with current affairs.
Now, which one of these individuals is likely to be a highly sensitive person? If you guessed the second person, you're on the right track. Highly sensitive adults often find it challenging to embrace playfulness or look forward to joyful experiences. We tend to be conscientious and meticulous, even about aspects of life that bring lightheartedness to others.
This inclination towards seriousness may stem from our sensory processing sensitivity, which is the scientific term for being highly sensitive. As HSPs, we process information deeply, become easily overstimulated, possess empathic qualities, wear our hearts on our sleeves, and are attuned to subtleties. With such rich internal experiences and tender hearts, highly sensitive adults often struggle to grant themselves permission to engage in play.
So, what exactly is play, and why is it important for sensitive adults? According to Dr. Stuart Brown, a prominent play researcher, play is a "state of mind that one experiences when engrossed in an activity that brings enjoyment and a suspension of the sense of time." It's about immersing oneself in a pleasant activity that provides personal fulfillment, making playfulness a highly individualized concept.
Our need for play never truly diminishes, even as we age. Studies have shown that adult play incorporates elements such as seeking fun, letting go of inhibitions, and embracing spontaneity. Engaging in play can enhance our physical, mental, and relational well-being. These are substantial benefits to be gained from embracing playfulness.
If you are an HSP like me, who inherently tends to be serious, it is never too late to reap the rewards of play. I encourage you to accept yourself as you are while also nurturing your capacity for playfulness and learning to balance your serious side. With that in mind, let's explore five strategies for embracing a more lighthearted approach to life and discovering how to play as an adult.
1. Avoid overscheduling yourself – HSPs dislike feeling rushed.
Nothing dampens playfulness like the pressure of a tight schedule. It's important to be mindful of how packed your agenda is, especially since highly sensitive individuals tend to experience time anxiety and require more transition time between activities. Leaving open periods in your schedule creates opportunities for spontaneity and pursuing activities you enjoy.
Although it may seem contradictory to schedule time for play and spontaneity, many of us recognize that we are more likely to follow through with something if we add it to our calendars. Treat play as you would any other activity for your well-being and allocate specific time for it. Additionally, make commitments to engage in play with others who could also benefit from injecting more old-fashioned fun into their lives. This way, you'll increase your chances of actively participating in play.
2. Personalize your play – explore both familiar and new avenues.
Each of us possesses unique preferences when it comes to play. Identifying your "play personalities" as described by Dr. Stuart Brown can help align your preferred styles of play with your identity as a highly sensitive person. Dr. Brown defines eight categories, and most of us tend to resonate with a few: collector, competitor, creator/artist, director, explorer, joker, kinesthete
(playing through movement), and storyteller. Recognizing your preferred play personalities can guide you in selecting activities that harmonize with your HSP traits. For instance, an HSP explorer may choose to take an automobile repair class or join a conversational Italian group, as they might be less inclined to explore through vigorous political debates or attend loud, multi-day music festivals.
Additionally, challenge yourself to engage in play activities outside of your comfort zone. For example, an explorer might choose to play like a kinesthete and learn a new dance style or experiment with being a competitor by entering a songwriting contest.
3. Learn from children and animals.
Children and animals often exhibit more readily accessible playfulness than adults. We tend to celebrate and encourage play in them while holding ourselves and other adults to a more serious standard. By observing and learning from children and animals, we can uncover valuable lessons on how to reconnect with our playful nature. This includes learning how to move our bodies purely for the sake of joy, establishing connections through shared play, and discovering new ways to engage in play.
Besides learning, actively seek opportunities to enjoy play with children or animals, rather than merely observing. Highly sensitive individuals often appreciate the simplicity of cooperative activities, such as building sandcastles. Additionally, we can tap into our playful side through our interactions with animals and the natural world.
4. Harness your imagination and unleash your creativity.
As highly sensitive individuals, our ability to think deeply can sometimes lead us to be excessively serious. However, our vivid imaginations, fantasies, and ability to construct elaborate mental worlds can provide an avenue for lighthearted escapism. Many highly sensitive people possess rich internal worlds that they may choose to express through creative outlets like the arts or persuasive writing. Others may prefer to keep their imaginings to themselves. Regardless of your approach, let your daydreams inspire your play and become a unique form of play in themselves.
5. Cultivate a daily habit of laughter.
Developing a sense of humor goes hand in hand with lightening up on seriousness. Learning to laugh at ourselves and at life can foster playfulness, enhance connections with others, and alleviate feelings of depression. This is particularly significant for highly sensitive individuals, as we tend to be emotionally attuned and can find ourselves tearing up at everything from a beautiful piece of music to an emotional TV commercial.
Make a conscious effort to seek moments of humor in your daily life. Learn a new joke to share with a friend, make a silly face in the mirror, or find a meme that resonates with your current situation. However, it's important to avoid humor that comes at the expense of others or yourself, as studies have linked this form of humor to adverse health outcomes. Fortunately, most highly sensitive people naturally gravitate towards compassionate and uplifting forms of humor, which not only make us feel better about ourselves but also strengthen our connections with others.
Maintaining a Balance Between Play and Seriousness
Occasionally, highly sensitive individuals express concerns that prioritizing play might cause them to overlook important aspects of life. However, research suggests that our inherent biological drive to play is balanced by our brain's constant monitoring of our surroundings and internal state. This allows us to seamlessly shift out of play when necessary. Furthermore, the brains of highly sensitive individuals exhibit heightened activity in processing stimuli, even during rest, compared to non-HSPs.
Your brain possesses the capacity to strike a balance between playfulness and seriousness. Allow yourself the opportunity to develop trust in this innate ability. Remember, intuition is one of your strengths as a highly sensitive person! Embrace playfulness more fully in your life, and observe the positive impact it has. You may just find yourself having fun amid the seriousness of adult life. I guarantee it.
Warmly,
Tekin Meric, MSc
Counselor & Coach
If you would like to receive counseling or coaching support as you navigate your life issues, please feel free to reach out. I would be honored to hold space for you online or in my practice in Amsterdam.
