You’re not alone as a HSP
The experiences of highly sensitive people (HSPs) often lead them to feel different and isolated. It's not uncommon to hear phrases like "I'm too sensitive," or "Why can't I just let things go like everyone else?" These beliefs stem from a lifetime of both well-intentioned and not-so-well-intentioned messages, reinforcing the idea that there's something wrong with being sensitive. The truth is, highly sensitive people are not the majority. Research has revealed that only 15-20% of individuals in any given population, regardless of culture, possess the trait of high sensitivity.
On one hand, it's a relief to know that wherever you reside, there are likely other highly sensitive people in your vicinity, whether they be your neighbors, members of your community, friends, or family. Even when it seems like nobody else reacts the same way you do, it's important to remember that you're not alone.
However, on the other hand, the majority—80-85%—of the population is not highly sensitive. And that can be disheartening. Given the disparity in numbers, it's understandable why HSPs often feel isolated and disconnected. While there are others out there who think and reflect deeply, feel emotions intensely, experience their senses profoundly, and empathize strongly with fellow humans and animals, they can sometimes be challenging to find. This sense of elusiveness contributes to the feelings of isolation experienced by sensitive individuals.
In my own personal journey, I recall being told throughout my childhood that there was "nothing to cry about" during moments of both joy and stress, even though tears would flow easily. In high school, I would feel utterly drained and exhausted by the end of the day, while my friends were eager to socialize, leaving me wanting to retreat and rest. Later, as an adult, I found myself overwhelmed by the myriad choices that adulthood presented, often feeling paralyzed by the options available. This led to a sense of sadness and isolation because I couldn't see anyone around me reacting in the same way.
Fortunately, during my graduate school and professional years, I delved into understanding the personality trait of high sensitivity. When I first heard the term "highly sensitive person," it was as if a light bulb switched on in my mind. That must be me! I immediately connected with the concept, feeling a sense of relief knowing that there were others who shared this trait.
Through extensive reading, study, and my work as a therapist, I've had the privilege of gaining deep insights into what it means to be a highly sensitive person. I've witnessed countless individuals embrace and appreciate this aspect of themselves as they reflect upon their life experiences, learn how to care for their own needs, and recognize and embrace their unique strengths. Moreover, I've seen the transformative power of connection when sensitive souls come together, realizing that they are not alone.
Even when it feels like an inherent truth, it's essential to remember that you are not alone. There are many other sensitive individuals out there, just like you, who also seek and deserve support. How can you provide this support for yourself?
Here are a few resources to get you started:
1. Meetup.com: Check if there are any meetup groups for HSPs in your area. If none exist, you might consider starting one yourself.
2. hsperson.com: This website offers a directory of therapists trained in working with highly sensitive individuals. Some of them also provide support groups.
3. Facebook.com: For a more informal means of connection, you can explore various HSP Facebook groups. Simply search for "highly sensitive" and see what emerges.
I wish you abundant support, love, and connection with fellow HSPs on your journey. Take care and be well.
Warmly,
Tekin Meric, MSc
Counselor & Coach
If you would like to receive counseling or coaching support as you navigate your life issues, please feel free to reach out. I would be honored to hold a space for you online or in my practice in Amsterdam.
