Embracing Change: Navigating the Challenges and Tapping into the Strengths of Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)
Change can be a daunting prospect for many of us, especially for highly sensitive people (HSPs) who are more attuned to the intricacies of their emotions, bodies, and thoughts. The comfort of familiarity and routine often offers solace to our sensitive nervous systems, shielding us from the additional demands and overwhelm that change can bring. However, there is a part of me that finds excitement and opportunity in embracing change, and I encourage my clients to do the same. Learning to thrive amidst life's constant flux is essential for HSPs.
Fortunately, the traits that define our sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) can also equip us with valuable tools to cope with change. Dr. Elaine Aron, the pioneering researcher in high sensitivity, describes these traits using the acronym DOES: depth of processing, overstimulation easily, emotionally reactive/empathetic, and sensitive to subtle stimuli.
As highly sensitive people, we can harness these traits to navigate change and tap into the positive aspects they offer:
1. Depth of Processing:
HSPs have a tendency to think deeply about even minor issues, carefully considering various factors before making decisions. While this deep processing can sometimes lead to analysis paralysis and self-doubt, it can also help us make wise choices when faced with change.
HSP Change Skill #1: Self-Questioning
Our inclination for deep processing allows us to develop metacognitive skills, enabling us to reflect on our thinking process and engage in self-questioning. By recognizing when we have gathered enough information and can move forward with confidence, we can transform deep processing into a valuable asset.
2. Overstimulated Easily:
The highly sensitive nervous system is prone to overstimulation, leaving us feeling overwhelmed in situations that others may find tolerable or enjoyable. Change often puts additional stress on our nervous systems, exacerbating these feelings of overwhelm.
HSP Change Skill #2: Self-Monitoring
Self-monitoring is a crucial metacognitive strategy for HSPs facing change. By cultivating awareness of our level of stimulation in each moment, we can construct a personalized scale to gauge our current state. Recognizing the signs that our stimulation levels are climbing allows us to take proactive steps to reduce them. Some practices that can help include giving ourselves more time during transitions, engaging in gentle stretches or movement to promote relaxation, finding a quiet and peaceful space to rest, or indulging in the comforting scent of our favorite aromas. Developing a personalized toolkit for managing stimulation levels is a central aspect of the sensitive approach.
3. Emotionally Reactive and Empathetic:
Highly sensitive people often lead emotionally rich lives and deeply empathize with the feelings and needs of others. However, this emotional depth can become overwhelming when navigating change.
HSP Change Skill #3: Boundaries
Given that change elicits a range of emotions within us and in those around us, setting boundaries becomes crucial for protecting ourselves from emotional depletion. By understanding our boundaries—where we end and others begin—we can make choices based on our values rather than being solely driven by our emotions or concerns for others. Developing the ability to communicate uncomfortable truths, including saying "no" when necessary, empowers us to maintain healthy boundaries and avoid overwhelm. Strengthening these boundary skills makes navigating change more manageable.
4. Sensitive to Subtle Stimuli:
The HSP nervous system is finely attuned to subtle cues, both internal and external. Faint sounds, scents, microexpressions, and shifts in energy can all capture the attention of HSPs, sometimes in uncomfortable ways.
HSP Change Skill #4: Self-Acceptance
Embracing self-acceptance regarding our sensitivity to the subtleties that emerge during times of change is a vital skill for HSPs. Our sensitivity, much like gravity, is an inherent part of who we are. Fighting against our sensitivity only depletes our energy and makes it harder to navigate change. On the other hand, accepting our sensitivity allows us to focus our energy on adapting to and coping with change. Building self-acceptance can be achieved through practices such as envisioning ourselves through the eyes of someone who loves us, speaking to ourselves kindly and compassionately (even if it feels unfamiliar), or engaging in self-acceptance journaling. The key is to find the approaches that resonate with us and incorporate them into our daily lives.
Your Journey of Change, Uniquely Yours
The DOES traits are just one aspect of each HSP's individuality. Your story is far more complex and ever-evolving. Recognizing and leveraging the strengths within our traits is an ongoing process as we navigate life's changes. Creating a new narrative—a story of change successfully embraced—requires understanding how to live our sensitive lives.
If you're seeking support in accepting yourself, embracing the need for change, and exploring the possibilities that your future holds, I invite you to reach out to me. Together, we can embark on a journey of discovery and growth tailored to your sensitive experience.
Warmly,
Tekin Meric, MSc
Counselor & Coach
If you would like to receive counseling or coaching support as you navigate your life issues, please feel free to reach out. I would be honored to hold space for you online or in my practice in Amsterdam.
